Sunday, October 31, 2010


The concept of the "wall".

Not just an affectionate name for a place where young boys schlep their ass in Kings Cross.

But also a theory which is rampant amongst the bruised and broken of lovers.

Once another horrendous break up is established, there is this notion of a wall that is put up and around your heart like the colleseum in the vain hope of never being hurt again.

It is usually the wall that is built to protect and to act as a burly bouncer to all those who try to get in.
It can come in the form of being a bitch
or maybe acting all tough
or just completely ruling yourself out of any situation that could break down the wall.
Ignoring the fact that someone may be in to you, as things have turned out so shit before.

I completely believe in the wall.
It is a control and power thing.
No one likes the power flip, but I suppose I am a true romantic, as I believe that someday there wont be one who is in more control than the other in a relationship.

Is it the wall that causes people to cheat?
The fear, which can sometimes be so debilitating that it can break you down into someone you never knew you could be.

Is it the wall that allows people to be enjoying the misery they have created for themselves?

Or is it just a coping mechanism that is a basic human reaction to having your heart torn out of your chest and eaten with a knife and fork by the person you were once in love with.

Whatever this wall may be, I do know one thing about it:

It is assembled by you like a lego fortress, and only you can take it down.

So there is no point in waiting around for someone else to take it down for you with their wit and charm and good looks because I can assure you if you take this method, you will be standing in a pile of rubble wondering how the fuck that happened all over again.

Im a big fan of the wall.
I have one.

I put it up with a concrete mixed out of anger and torment, and there is stands surrounding me at all times.

And for the first time in a long long time, I think Im going to rent a bobcat and tear it down.

Stupid? you may say,

Oh well, Im sick of hiding behind an imaginary wall, only touching the beautiful things in life with my fingertips, and if that makes me naive and silly then I guess I am.

But I know that Im willing to finally be exposed.

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