Friday, October 8, 2010


This is a post inspired by the blonde haired barista I like to fondly call Mitch Faulkner.
He is down in Bathurst RIGHT NOW making cappucinos for old bastards and sluts alike.
He told me about the promo girls that flock to that car race they hold every year.
Now I have no judgement toward promo girls. I used to be one for one shift at Terrigal pub back in 2008, before I threw in the towel.
Why you ask?
Because the shift I did get I had to dress in a Midori dress with matching headband and go around asking provocatively if anyone wanted a shot.
I did it with two other girls one redhead and the other blonde, and i wish i had recieved a dollar for everytime some old half shaved bastard slurred "OHHHH LOOK AT THIS, A TRIFECTA, WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS WAYNEO (OR MACCA)? A NE-O-PO-LEETANA ICE CREAM THATS WHAT SWEETHEART."
I left the premises swiftly and went home for a four hour shower with Simply Red blasting trying to get the past 3 hours out of my head and off my body.
I dont know why I did it. Money i guess, and maybe the fact that it seemed so appealing, the fact that I could shove my tits in some loser's face for a while and then stupidly walk home thinking I would be safe.
I was, but still.
Some may associate promo girls as sluts, but I do not.
Where would the world be without sluts with daddy issues?
There would be alot of tattooed, muscled up greasebags with blue balls thats for sure.
Who would populate Coaster or Bounce?
Who would drink fourteen cruisers before going out and whip off her undies in a frenzy because some lad just dared her to?
Who would create the wind tunnels that weirdly crop up on a sunny day?
Who would know just about every move in the karma sutra, but not have the dexterity to pull it off due to the bong she just pulled (and not through her mouth)?
I am such a bigger fan of the sluts rather than the prudes.
Talk to a slut,
see what you can find out about the more macho sex, and what they like in the sack.
Because god knows, I dont want to be the one who got called a taxi at 3am.
Or better yet, the one who didnt even get to the apartment/ mums house, but got wheeled out from behind Cold Rock in a trolley by one of her fellow slut counterparts, putting new meaning to the word "TROLLEYED".
The world would be such a dull place if there werent any sluts with the shrill voices and eyes that only seem to look up at you, as if she has your cock in her mouth before you have even unzipped.
Everyone deserves a slut.
You know how people have their word of the day, and they have to use it in conversation.
Well I endeavour to call a boy a slut, but seriously and see the reaction.
I bet he will be chuffed as.

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