Monday, October 11, 2010



Ever feel like you cant believe you just saw what you saw because of the time you did certain things?

Like if you didnt speed that little 2 kilometres, you wouldnt be a certain place at a certain time in order to see what you just saw?

Timing freaks me out.

And I do believe it is one of the unexplainable things that hold us back or set us free, depending on what we are feeling or doing at that time.

Do you ever wonder what could have been if the timing had been different?

Why things just never seemed to work, due to the timing?

I know I do. I wonder about it quite a bit, mainly because I am a runner and a thinker (and no I dont mean as in going for a morning jog and thinking about what Im going to eat for breakfast, more like running away to be alone and thinking.)

Like there is a TIME to grow up?

a TIME to think?

a TIME for play?

a TIME for work?

What if time is slipping away, and you arent realising it due to the time you believe you are experiencing.

Well it is right here and right now.

We rarely live in the present.

It is about the future or what we missed out on in the past.

But I am making a real decision right now to live in the time I am given.

I dont know if anyone else understands any of this, but it makes perfect sense in my mind.
Ive been WAY too reflective in the past three days. Not exactly reflecting on the past or anything, but just reflecting on the people I know and the things I do, and it pretty much is just an excuse to get in the car and drive around listening to Mumford and Sons, smoking a marlboro.
That is one thing I can rely on to jog (i know so many exercising metaphors) the bases of the brain that trigger memory and happiness.
For instance, I was just driving around and 'Swimming in the flood' by Passion Pit came on, which immediately took me back to a Balcony in QLD and 6am, and a complete rush of euphoria soared throughout my body.
Music is one of those things though.
A Cold Chisel song, especially 'Forever Now' takes me right back to my childhood and the bushfires in Penrith, the Red Rooster meals, the swing sets and the picnics, Dale and Kirsty.
Whereas grittier tunes can take me back to the years I spent on the floor of 77, contemplating absolutely nothing, and loving it.
'Friday Im in love' by The Cure takes me back to Swtizerland, driving around on the massive bus feeling completely miserable but strangely content at the same time.
'Doo Wop (that thing)' by Lauryn Hill takes me back to Bus 17 with Madeline harmonising out loud because even back when we were 16 we still didnt give a fuck what anyone thought.
'The Good Fight' by Dashboard Confessional reminds me of when Jess Moss got her P's and we drove around for the hell of it, as you do.
'High Flying Bird' by Elton John reminds me of Thailand and fills me with regret that I didnt take life and the present by the balls, but instead became so consumed with the fucking ridiculous past that I had left at home.
That is why I am so aware of timing.
But I believe that you can make your own time, change what you think is the right time, and embrace what is happening to you right now, even if it is shitty, because before you know it, that time will be over and you might find yourself driving around reflecting on why you miss it.

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