Wednesday, May 12, 2010


the concept of a dud root is so funny to me.
Im sure we have all experienced one.


like, you just gave up your time for this person to invade your body, you probably dont even like them, but hey, you were drunk or bored or a nymphomaniac.

My friend, lets call him, Yusef Islam, was telling me about this dud root he experienced once. The story went a bit like this:

"Yeah, she was such a well known slut, but SUCH a shit sexer. I couldnt believe it. I mean I wouldve cared more if I wasnt so fucked up at the time hahaha."

But its interesting that a girl can be a dud root. Boys can be, very easily I believe. They have alot of elements working against them. I wont go and make a list, but Im sure you can come up with some if you tried.

But a girl?

I understand the fundamental elements of it all. Like, if shes a faker. Or if shes a starfish. But is that it?

Ive heard some funny stories that Id like to share, when asking that question, and recieving a range of responses:

" He seriously couldnt do it. He had too much coke and it just wasnt happening, but I made him finish anyway."

"We were way too drunk and she just had no idea what she was working with."

"He just laid there..."

"He was so nervous, he kept shaking."

"He kept asking me if I was alright, and if everything was ok."

"Lets just say his nickname should be 'Old Mate 2 Seconds'"

"He was like spaghetti...."

"It was seriously like out of that movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, she was like 'Ugh Ugh Ugh I just came'"

This is a rather revealing post!

Its one of those things I guess. If you ever get to that stage, no one is going to tell you the truth for fear of hurting the feelings.

But I think it should be voiced more often. I know Cleo and Cosmo tell you "gently tell him what you want."

But most men have egos that are more delicate than your grandmother's china from 1935 and that could result in a spray of frustration, or even worse.....silent treatment.

But then again, you do have your exceptions to the rule.

All im saying is that the concept of a dud root is pretty funny.

A real insult
A fleeting claim
A fear of many
A perfect comeback.

"Dud root says what?"


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