Sunday, May 30, 2010


For some reason I have an strong attraction to all hip hop songs from any generation and seem to know the words and the times when the token girl goes

"ooooohhh yeeeaahhhh"

better than I know how to spell my own name.

Dre has to be my ultimate. I want to be him but I also want to be with him. Multidimensional.

Ive been listening to butt loads of rap music of late and watching Up in Smoke so much im pretty sure I have hair like Xzibit now.

But I have decided to answer the rap game's age old 21 questions provided from 50 cent. No one has tried this yet. Its not one of those reply youtube videos that spouted the parramatta fave tunes of "Fuck you (I dont want you back)" by EAMON spurring on the reply by someone i think her name was frankee with lines like

"Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud

Fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud

Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back

Well guess what yo, your sex was wack"

it is a more empowering tune since I am woman(!)

but here they are, and i suggest you consider your own answers to fiddys 21 questions:

1. would you love me if i was down and out?

it depends what you mean by down fiddy, down with the homies? down with the kids? I think i would though, especially if you were out. at lilikoi.

2. if i fell off tomoro would you still love me?

Fell off the rap charts? these questions need questions to be clear. if you fell off a ledge and everyone saw i would laugh but then I would love you.

3.if i didnt smell so good would you still hug me?

why you aint smelling so good? you got the money.

4. if i got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century could i count on you to be there to support me mentally?

well im no mercedes corby, but i think i could just as long as i can come for one of those trailer visits like in the film clip.

5. If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof and disappear like some of my friends?

I dont care about cars, but a benz is pretty good, i dont know what a hoopty is but im sure id still love you 50. but i dont poof. i just dont.

6. if i was hit and i was hurt would you be by my side?

of course i would fiddy. but id also be asking who the fuck can hit and hurt 50 cent. havent you been hit with a few shells now you walk with a limp?

7.if it was time to put in work would you be down to ride?

I have uni mondays and tuesdays...soooo wednesday to friday is good for me.

8. If I ain't rap 'cause I flipped burgers at Burger King would you be ashamed to tell your friends you feelin' me?

Never. Burger king is a legitimate source of income. However I would be wondering why you are calling it Burger King, dont we only have Hungry Jacks in NSW? Im not living in Adelaide.

9. And in bed if I use my tongue would you like that?

Use your tongue to tie a cherry stem in a knot? thats pretty impressive, do you lick down your sheets coz you cant afford the laundromat due to the Burger King wage?

10. if i wrote you a love letter would you write back?

Yeah babe, add me on Facebook.

11. now would you leave me if your father found out i was thuggin?

My dad would probably recommend a decent tax advisor so you can put all your thug money in a trust for when you retire.

12. Do you believe me when I tell you, youre the one Im loving?

Only if your rapping it.

13. are you mad coz im asking you 21 questions?

Sort of, im kind of late for class now.

14. are you my soulmate?

I am fiddy. we ride we ride its til the day that we die.

15. do you trust me enough to tell me your dreams?

I trust athena the Womans Day astrologer enough at 4am while drunk and in need of some stars guidance.

16. if i was down would you say things to make me smile?

i love you like a fat kid loves cake you know my style i say anything to make you smile.

17. if i was with some other chick and someone happened to see, and when you asked me about it i said it wasnt me, would you believe me or not believe me?

Fiddy you a playa. I would walk right out on you.

18. or up and leave me?

SEE ABOVE deep is our bond that thats all it takes for you to be gone?

its pretty deep, especially when you sang for me on my birthday. and when you made that amazing movie about your life. Fiddy I do love you.

20. Could you love me in a Bentley?

Definetly. Id do it outside St. Joeys High school if you want.

21.Could you love me on a bus?

That is highly unsanitary and Im sort of wondering what the fare would be like if we requested it. But it would make the stretch from Terrigal to Erina Fair a hell of a lot more interesting.


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