ONE NIGHT STAND.

Its the age old question:
WHAT IS TO BE GAINED BY A ONE NIGHT STAND?

1. Herpes?
2. A new jumper/ thongs.
3. A bin might gain your undies. (depends on how the night went.)
4. An exciting new like for a particular flavour of condom.
5. A rebound.
6. A relationship.

Thats all I could come up with at the moment.

I was just chatting to Madeline today about how things have kicked off for us over the years, and surprisingly it usually begins with a one night stand (which I suppose doesnt count as it doesnt remain one night, but it was always intended to be one night.)

And then, I sort of thought it was kind of immature of me.
I mean, Im all for taking the car for a test drive, but I dont think Ill be skulking around many Toyota dealerships for a while (if you know what i mean).

It does usually leave you feeling like the bottom of a cup. Sort of dirty, bread crumbs on you and empty.
Usually.

One night stands DO have their place however, especially if you are Stella and you need to get your groove back. (ME: circa March 2010.)
Also, if you just honestly dont give a fuck about much.

I have been both of these people at certain intervals, and I cant say I am ashamed of it, but I think at times it was liberating, whilst other times it was crushing.

It is hard to pick. Kind of like diving into a lake freestyle and then smashing your head on the sand.

But the real sad and jaded thing was that the notion of NOT having a one night stand, and actually getting to know someone seemed foreign and intimidating to me.

It can just be so easy to pretend you are Xena Warrior Princess and never REALLY know who you are having sex with.
Especially if it is halfway decent, because that clouds the mind and defers proper judgement in girls.
Seriously boys, if you ever want to have a girl around your little finger just insert it OR be really really good at sexing and she will not hear a fucked up phrase out of your mouth ever.

Dead set, if you said to her:
"BABY, I THINK I WANT TO BANG YOUR FRIEND."

she will hear:

"BABY I ONLY WANT TO BANG YOU, YOUR FRIENDS ARE MINGAZ."

It is something that is programmed in us girls, that once you give us the one fucking thing a man should be able to in life, if he can do anything right AT ALL, she will be yours forever.

Its just a matter of getting to that point though, which as Ive seen seems like a pretty tough thing to accomplish.

Well anyway, what do I know about one night stands? Im still young (HAHA you can tell I just turned 22 and am trying to make myself feel better, Im about two clicks off joining the mums down at the local footy ground to eat sausage sandwiches seductively ((try saying that ten times)) so that the younger boys take a notice and I am allowed to show them what it is like
TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH A WO-MAN.)

ohhh hahaha im so fucked, what was I saying?


OH YEAH...I DONT KNOW SHIT.