Thursday, August 19, 2010


Zombies is my favourite word in the english language/movie theme/ dress up theme/ type of boy.

I love zombie movies and I dont know why, and sometimes at night when im lying in my bed in that time before you fall asleep, I think about what I would do if I woke up like in Dawn of the Dead and my family had turned into brain eaters.

I was thinking about it on tuesday night, probably because I drank too much diet coke before I went to bed, and I remembered thinking I would smash through my window, cuts and bruises be damned and try and climb a really tall tree.

Because, from what I can gather, zombies arent that co-ordinated and I doubt they could climb. Seeing as that may be a fact, I should challenge them to a game of netball and make the zombie be Wing Defence, because that is the shittest position anyone can be in netball.

I particularly enjoy the female zombies as they seem to be quite a bit more rabid and crazy than the male ones. I remember seeing one of my favourites 'Shaun of the Dead'with my nanna, and she was horrified, especially in the scene where he bludgeons his own zombie mother in the head.

I was all, "chill out nan, its only a bit of humorous gore"but even still, she informed me she couldnt even choke down her sunday roast later that evening.

I dont know why im not bothered by zombie movies, but rather froth on them much like the gut munchers themselves.

Am i odd if I would prefer to one day believe in seeing a zombie (in captivity of course), instead of sighting a unicorn or a fairy?

Unicorns and fairies can go fuck themselves. Im scared enough of horses as it is, but ones with a huge spear on top of their head? Who made up this mythical creature in the first place? Some lonely perverted woman who had a fetish for beastiality, but felt bad taking the horses virginity, so instead equipped it with a sharp looking dildo? Thats my guess.

And fairies? what. the. fuck.

Tiny human beings with wings and dust that grants wishes. This screams of the crazies you see down at The Entrance trying to sell you ornaments and beaded necklaces for outrageous prices as they just might make you find the man of your dreams at Lilikoi this coming saturday.

I would pay some serious cash to see a caged zombie.

Matter of fact, I see them for free nearly every time I step outside.

Zombies waiting on platforms to catch trains.

Zombies sitting in the doctor's waiting room reading Women's Weekly.

Zombies walking international catwalks.

Zombies sitting in the Uni Library all typing the same thing over and over.

Zombies in crowds at festivals, dancing in off beat styles, grinding their teeth.

Zombies listening to the people who constantly talk about themselves, as if the shrill chorus of "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME, I I I I I I I I I I." lulls them into zombietown.

Zombies standing in line at a bar bobbing up and down to Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull.

But they must all be in their sleeping time like on 'I am Legend', because hopefully one day all these faux zombies will wake up!

look around, see the bullshit their world has become and start....


(especially the brains of the self-obsessed. seriously, get your head out of your ass...the zombies cant eat your brains from your rectum.)

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