Friday, August 27, 2010


I have a confession to make.
I have been cheating.
Cheating on this blog, with another.
Its not that I want to break up with this blog, or that I dont find it attractive anymore, but I have been overcome with a lust that has clouded my vision for the past few days.
Its called IM BOY CRAZY
And it's just so pretty, funny and youthful. It is the proverbial secretary to this blog, turning my eyes and efforts in a whirlwind of passion that I couldnt resist the temptation to spend hours reading the pages.
But to be serious, I have gotten such an insight into a girl on the other side of the world in LA, who actually thinks and talks how I do. Like EXACTLY how i do.
I have been losing precious hours of my life (which could be used on knitting or gobbies) just sitting back with a vodka and lemonade and combing through the intense and harsh yet hilarious words she uses to describe love, men, women and relationships.
I know that this blog was originally meant to be solely about music, and somehow as I have continued writing, it has become about everything. sex, love, boys, girls, music, life and stupid shit like schoolies.
I just wanted to address the fact that just like with this blog, nothing stays the same forever, nothing can ever be defined in one way, but I am really really really really excited for change.
But anyway, back to this blog I just HAVE to quote some of the shit she comes up with, because I could never in my right mind repeat it and pretend it was my own:
1. "the new vadge coif for fall: bare on the bottom, full on retro bush on top. not only does it look great in a photo, it’s totally helpful/conducive to having your pussy licked and loved."
2. " just because he’s famous, doesn’t mean he’s worth catching herpes from.
if you ARE gonna get herpes- it’s way cooler to contract them from someone who’s been on a billboard."
3. "in a perfect world, you’d only be having sex with guys who, if they accidentally got you pregnant, you might not even consider having an abortion. Stay in school though kids."
4. "watch a guy masturbate to know how he likes to be touched and ‘taken care of’."
5. "don’t wait for the phone to ring. you should be juggling men, reading a book, going to the gym, and working towards taking over the world ALL AT ONCE!"
6. "here’s a secret: everyone comes out of a vagina-unless they were removed via c section OR a mistaken miscarriage that swam to the surface of the toilet bowl or carpet it landed in. So don’t let someone make you feel less then, OR not as good as them. Unless they ARE better-cuz that does happen sometimes too. Sorry."
7. "wondering if a dude i don’t even like, that i wouldn’t even want as my bf, is gonna call! a dude I’m probably only drawn to because his finger was inside of me and he smells like man?"
8. . "a guy who loves you doesn’t cum on your face- especially if he hasn’t met your parents!"
9. "nine shallow, one deep. figure it out dudes."
10. "if you don’t tell him that you had a sex dream about him, you’ll never know if he had a sex dream about you!"
11. "hey girls! men are attracted to the scent of other men! So douse yourself in jizz ladies! I’m joking! geeze! But seriously. Do it."
12. "it’s not OK to cum in a girls mouth without asking first! especially if it’s the first time she’s giving you a blow job! it’s so much sexier to make her beg for it! cuz one day she will motherfucker!"
13. "be amazing in bed! be confident, and TOTALLY eat her pussy! be a master at getting her off by sucking on her mother fucking pussy! and don’t just suck: lick, tickle, flick (with the tip of your tongue), kiss, and slowly/deeply stick your finger inside her. MAKE A WOMAN COMING IN YOUR MOUTH YOUR MISSION! IT WILL MAKE YOU VIRTUALY INDESPENSABLE AND GIVE YOU EPIC WORD OF MOUTH! i promise!"
SUCH GOOD ADVICE! i love her, i think.

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