OLDER & WISER PART 3.

1. As Australians, we find any excuse to get drunk. Case in point- the sinking of the HMS Adelaide at Avoca Beach. Not ragging on it or anything, but you have to admit it is kinda true.

2. The Royal Wedding between "Catherine" Middleton and Prince William struck hope in the hearts of those ferocious single women who dream of being a princess. All I have to say is Harry's stalker list must have tripled by the time Pippa set foot out of the car. And I also predict a third season of Australian Princess (one can only hope).

3. You can rarely rely on what people say as being legitimate. People will white lie their way into a black hole (we are all guilty of this) until they are not going to meet with someone because their uncle's cousin's cat's brother's dog died and they are providing the flowers at the funeral.

4. The power bitch is a coveted status that should be celebrated.

5. You are so fucking cool.

6. Girls and boys located in the inner Sydney area are beginning to look like brothers and sisters.

7. PREDICTION: The hipster uniform is about to be blown out of the water by something outrageous and unpredictable (one can only hope)

8. Paris Hilton reeeeealllyyy needs friends.

9. You are never too cool or hip or with it to be friendly and say hello. No one will think less of you if you seem happy to meet others or reply to a question without a sigh and a look around (anywhere but their direct eyeline). I promise, I will still assume you have a tiny dick and are over compensating by being a prick with a hat on and fake glasses.

10. SOMETIMES boys dont think and say exactly what is on their minds, or repeat exactly what someone has said without filtering or thinking about the impact. Saw it when Sam said to his mum that some guy who came to a BBQ he was having at his house, said, "Oi why is Eden outside smoking a ciggie with some old lady?".

11. The waiting is the hardest part.

12. If you hold all of your feelings inside for long enough, they will attack you like an ants nest and you will react physically much the same way. I recently just felt events that occured 3 years ago, and that is fucked up.

13. But everyone is fucked up in their own special way!

14. Guilt, regret, retrospect, anxiety, anger, fear and inane status updates- things i wish to never see again.