Friday, March 23, 2012

SEXY.

So after last night, my definition of "sexy" has been redefined and reignited. Therefore this has resulted in me spending the day thinking about the Top 10 sexiest songs that I can conjure up (mainly from my iTunes library). Here they are, you may want to refer back to this post to play at your leisure while getting jiggy with your unidentified spouse after a big Saturday night out on the wangers.

1. Pala- FRIENDLY FIRES




The twittering birds will make you feel as if you are making sweet love in a rainforest (or the stage set for Lost). Mix this with breathy vocals and there you have a tune that can produce quivering eardrums and whatever else may quiver upon listening. This is for the people who insist on taking it nice and slow and prefer not to have a headboard banging..well...bang.


2. Use Me- BILL WITHERS.


This is the kind of song you will have sex to after you have just had a joint by candlelight and maybe you had a moment where you looked in each others eyes and decided to rip into one another. The weird thing is, maybe your parents might have boned to this song as well which can get awkward if you dad bursts in and declares, "OH THE MEMORIES!"


3. At A Loss- THE PRESETS.


The plus with this song is that the ripping bass line means you can really gain momentum and actually pump to the music. It stays pretty much the same the whole way through, so this is recommended for the men with stamina, god bless ya's. Having previously had sex to this song, I highly endorse it even though it is The Presets. (& no I didnt have sex at a Big Day Out or something while they were live show whores back in 07 & 08).


4. In Gadda Vida- IRON BUTTERFLY





Remember this from The Simpsons? I had to put it in, because not only is it something you would imagine people getting their rocks off to at Woodstock. The pure thought of Homer and Marge making out to this song will have you thinking you can do it too! Everyone loves some dirty guitar to get you in the mood, and this song delivers.


5. White Room- CREAM.




Personally, there is nothing like some drawn out electric guitar behind Eric Clapton's vocals to turn me on. You kind of forget what the song is even about when you become enthralled in the decadent electrics of the thing. I know I am coming out with some oldies but goodies, but shit I am sure there are some people out there who switch onto Mix 106.5 when they are feeling frisky. (Im a RAW FM kind of gal myself)


6. I Can't Get Next To You- AL GREEN.




This tune reminds me of a certain scene. The woman has gone back to the man's apartment to "look at some art" or "watch a movie" and he dims the lights, runs his hand through his hair and casually places this record on. He lightly twists to turn to her with two empty brandy glasses clinking in his slightly clammy hands. He is nervous and she is wondering if he is serious. He saunters over to her like a primitive mating dance and before you know it, Al Green has removed your undies and you have tripped and fallen on yet another dick. WHOOPS!


7. My Neck, My Back- KHIA.




RIIIIIIIGHT LADIES? This song is great because it can not possibly get straighter to the point. There haven't been many sonnets written about cunnilingus, but even if there were hundreds, this one would still be my favourite. "The best head comes from a thug", I have never met a thug but I will be sure to approve/disprove that theory upon meeting aforementioned thug. I also have never seen a woman "pop your pussy like this,". Now that is something I want to see! Although I am pretty sure girls that if you put this song on just before girl head, he will run for the hills.


8. Goodnight Tennessee- COLD WAR KIDS.

The deep bass in this one sets the scene before you can say, "You are the only ten I see." All the indie kids would be hitting it and quitting it right now to this ditty, its sexy and understated and doesn't really reference sex at all. This is what makes the song amazing, its subtly sensual and will definitely be a hit with your lady. Get some red wine, play this and see what happens, then thank me later.


9. Lullaby- THE CURE.


This one has kind of creepy vocals, but it will definitely send you to bed (but probably not to get some shut eye). Matter of fact, the vocals and lyrics make me feel like Spiderman might slink through my window and have sex with me while I am sleeping and as I wake in the morning I will be covered head to toe in a web with a fake number scrawled on my bedside table. Typical saturday night, really.


10. Let's Make Out- DOES IT OFFEND YOU, YEAH?




"I cant control myself, when I see you theres no one else, when I get down all by myself, you're the one that I think about." How can you argue with that? If a boy said that to me, I dont know about you, but I wouldn't be creeped out by the whole insinuating masturbation,  I would completely fall for it! The song is gritty and urgent in its delivery, demanding and forceful in the best possible way. To put it blatantly, this song has throw down. & Who doesn't love a bit of a throw down?



Great, I need a cold shower now.

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