Sunday, July 10, 2011

OLDER & WISER PART 5.


1. Sometimes I believe that I am a reincarnation of a 1960s renegade who overdosed and had strong feminist beliefs. She died for her cause in some sort of peyote haze. But it would explain the red hot lava that flows through my veins whenever I see some sort of oppression being handed out to any minority. FUCK the term 'minority', no human will ever be as small as the minds that perpetuate ignorance and hate.

2. I think that boys should stop checking out girls ass and tits, and start checking out their lips and thighs.

3. If you don't have human contact for a whole day, it doesn't mean you are lonely- it means you are an artist.

4. You are the only person who can be truly happy for yourself. Dont expect ANYTHING off others. For then, you are only letting down yourself by wanting too much. It is better to be pleasantly surprised, than disappointed.

5. Sometimes it is easier to give up on people. I have.

6. It still makes me laugh how american movies/TV shows employ 28 somethings to play 16-17 year olds. 

7. Does winter make everyone sad? Is it the cool breeze that turns sunshine into a dim alley? or is it the cold realisation that going out and throwing up on your heels isnt that cute anymore?

8. I think I know that in order to be happy, you must do what you want. In order to make others happy, you must do what they want.

9. I will die with a spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth and a chilled glass of orange juice by my side.

10. I saw a homeless man on the side of Moore Park Rd the other day, and for a second I thought he was a hipster dude with a longie just kickin it. Something has gone terribly wrong here....

11. I see women who believe wholeheartedly that what they wear is who they are. I understand how it can contribute to your image/identity. But wearing the freshest off the RAFW runway is slowly ruining you. You dont want to wake up one day, shaving the neck of your financial advising husband in Mosman and wonder who it really is you are. So you sit, and you pour yourself a 9am glass of Chardonnay and you flip through the latest Vogue, simmering on just who you are and what you really think. But alas, you gave that right up years ago, so you tutt, put your hair in a top knot and sign the rest of your life away in a Double Bay induced coma filled with fuschia roses, lilac green tea, white walls and a superficial notion of existence.

12. Do not take yourself so seriously! It makes you more of a joke than you realise!

13. Who misses the OC? ME!

14. Today my cousin came to my Nanny's birthday party with ear phones in. When the said earphones were pulled out and asked what was playing in them. He said, "Nicki Minaj! god!" First of all, Generation Y shits me to fucking tears. ROFL LMAO NSFW WTF FML. Secondly, since when has technology become as much of an appendage as a penis? And I wonder if by too much use of this technology will make other appendages flaccid and useless? I wonder if someday, we will see the likes of "DickBook", a site that allows penis' to "poke" and "like" each other. 

15. I lose sleep at night worrying about whether or not Dr. Dre's album will be any good. "I need a doctor" did not make me sleep any better.

16. You dont need anyone to make you happy, and no one ever will. Only you will allow yourself to be happy, and if someone is there whilst it's happening, well thats just lovely.

17. Stop talking shit and do something.

18. Fair enough about putting yourself number 1, but sometimes people get sick of being number 2, so they will 69 with another 1.

19. everybody knows Im a motherfucking monster.

20. Laziness breeds depression, and depression breeds laziness.

21. I had a dream about my teeth falling out last night, and apparently it means that I am a failure. I swore at a website. 

22. I despise hashtags, especially when they are done with the tone of, "Just sayin'" with some sort of smug facial expression and shoulder shrug. #ilovemakingwittyhashtagswhichiknowwillimpressmyfriends.

23. I get told that my blog posts have a common emotional thread, that being, ANGER. Its always said with a mocking "oooh im scared" undertone. Oh well, Id rather sound like Kate Nash than Kate Middleton.

24. Where is Kiefer Sutherland?

25. Have a lovely week, watch masterchef and every time one of those smug fucks says an "e" sounding word with an "a" sound. Think of me sitting in my spotted leggings shouting to the TV, "ITS ELEGANT, NOT ALEGANT. FUCKING ELLIE, NOT ALLIE YOU CUNTS. IF ONE MORE OF THESE FUCKING SLUTS SAYS SALTZER INSTEAD OF SELTZER IM GOING TO FUCK GEORGE FOR THEM!"
seriously, there has never been a cast to shit me more than this season.


P.s. I would like to dedicate this post to Samira Ali, for getting me off my ass and back into the swing of things.

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