Sunday, January 30, 2011


Have you ever seen someone in the "real world" and notice that you are friends with them on Facebook/Twitter/RSVP (maybe?) but completely avoid any form of human interaction?

Maybe its out of embarrassment (because you added them at 3am in the morning absolutely pissed, but you had always thought they were a babe/cool/bitch).

Maybe its because you can not be bothered (because you know that you arent actually "friends" with the person, but just interested in their photos or stupid thoughts that turn into status')

Maybe it is because you really do not know them (but they added you, and you accepted because how many times do you actually get a friend request right? and you got excited- but seeing them in the real world without the Paint photo editing really puts them in a new perspective- especially if the sighting is a 2am boot outside of sirens).

If you said yes to any of the above, you are suffering from a lack of social netiquette.
It is contagious, but do not worry, there is a cure.

I think it is a well known fact that sometimes you become friends with people on Facebook etc to check out their shit. Not because you actually want to talk to them outside the realm of your keyboard.

That is the pure and simple reasoning behind most virtual "friendships".

I know I have "friends" on Facebook that I dont even talk to online, let alone in real life.
And it really made me evaluate the rules of social networking etiquette.

These are the rules as I see them:
1. If you need to contact someone when you have ran out of credit/battery, FB is the place to go. Effective and easy, and doesnt cost you a dime (but might allude someone you are trying to avoid to your whereabouts- which is risky)

2. If you have added someone recently on Facebook and you live in the same area as them, then wave or say hello at the least. A simple acknowledgement will make you seem less like a crazy stalker, and more like an innocent web dweller who is open to a casual hello between "friends"

3. If you have known someone for years (outside of the social network) and have decided to publicly ignore them in real life, but talk to them on Facebook (which is a complete contradiction to your cause) then please notify the ignoree, as talking to people online is not considered 'real' and makes you come off like one of those World Of Warcraft cunts.

4. Dont poke people. I know, i know it is a rare occassion in real life that you are allowed to 'poke' Julia Gillard or whoever you have on your friends list, but it is actually just as annoying. Especially if you dont know the person (ellen giebels excepted, id poke you all night long).

5. I dont care where you are. I know the new fangled 'places' app is epic, and it can be heaps funny in the right hands but I dont care if you are at 'Wyoming Hungry Jacks'. It only matters to me if you are located at 'The Lodge' because then you are ruling at life.

These are the rules I would like to send out into the cyberworld that I have set for myself. And for my brand of social netiquette.

The cure for a lack of social netiquette is to pretty much splash some cold water over your face, go to the doctor for that pesky carpel tunnel you have and get the other hand off your dick. Because if you have broken any of the rules, you must have a porn collection on your Mac that could rival Bill Clinton's stash.

Just saying.
Ive heard a few complaints from my surroundings of a frustration with those who talk to you on FB but do not acknowledge you in the real world.

But to be honest, if you are going to make a smart ass comment on a status of mine, but then pretend as if i am the bermuda triangle when you are in my direct eyeline, you will just make me ROFL or LMAO or kill myself for actually typing those acronyms.

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