Sunday, January 29, 2012

OLDER & WISER #10


1. You really dont.

2. Girls put on the "slut voice" when flirting with a boy. Its more high pitched and rounds off with the tongue at the end of the words. Tight back of the mouth. It never works for me, but works for a lot of women everywhere. try it.

3. Is putting candles on when you are trying to have sex with a girl creepy or sexy? I dont know if it might be a little like a Ricky Martin video clip then again, we should take anything we can get right ladies?

3. Think about the dudes in Superbad, they were so stoked to see some nipple. You should be too.

4. The Hottest 100 was one of the best in any previous years.

5. Australia Day has become the best day to flash your tits to complete bogan strangers who are doing beer bongs across balconies in Terrigal.

6. Sometimes Sundays are fucking incredible at the Beery and things happen that you never ever would have thought have happened before.

7. No matter how you get treated or who says what to you, girls- you still got it.

8. There is an amazing paddle pool in between Wamberal beach and Spoon Bay and that is where you will find me anytime the sun is out.

9. The word "flutter" is fucking hilarious in any situation.

10. Unless there were blackouts you would never know that your dad almost had a car crash and stepped on a brown snake in the Western Suburbs. Thank you shitty Energy Australia, me and pops are closer than ever.

11. I think the word "sexy" is underrated. It never gets used anymore. The last time I heard it come out of a boys mouth was about a headband. I really appreciate that. Something so little can be sexy to some. From the lowering of an eyebrow to a bead of sweat dripping down a chest in the middle of summer. However, I do believe it comes from within.

12. I like it when boys notice my nails are the same colour as my lipstick.

13. 'Turn Me On' by The Grates has the best back story.

14. I didnt want to go to Girl Talk anyway, so there.

15. I saw Terrigal High girls walk into Hogs Breath today and I must say I have not seen that much pussy since the last time I went to Petsworld.

16. You can't sit back and wait for shit to come to you, you must search if you shall find. & if it does find you, then you are very lucky.

17. Ross definitely had some sort of say in number 30 of the Hottest 1o0.

18. Dudes on skateboards- no I havent forgotten.

19. Don't leave me tongue tied, lets stay up all night.

20. I think we should take more advantage of the fact that it's summer and stay up later, drink outdoors more and run around in our undies on the beach when the sun goes down.

21. I had an interesting conversation yesterday with a few lovely people about dating. Some had never been on a date before and some felt that it was null and void in asking a girl on a date as they have been made to feel like a weirdo in the past. GIRLS- stop ruining it for the rest of us! If a boy asks you out to tea or for an ice cream or whatever you might as well go and give him a shot. Fuck man, its a free feed at the least of it. Plus you might find that he is a stand up lad, I mean in this day and age- its a rarity to be asked out on a date.  Don't settle for a few drinks down at the beery, you deserve more than that and you know it. There are so many pretty girls (I am beginning to sound like a lesbian in this post) on the coast who should be treated that way. Chivalry is in need of a serious revival, think of Chivalry as niche and retro, thats cool right?

22. I really miss favourite chicken and Jack Lewis and Maddison Spence and Paul Blackley and the mouse that runs around the lounge room.

23. There is something great about afternoon beers.

24. If you were an animal you would want to be a lion right? Be courageous!

25. It is ALWAYS better to be different than the rest.

26. Throwing a shakka out on Australia Day or to a group of boys will never ever get old.

27. Bush is so creepy.

28. Heaps of boys are scared of scary movies, but at least you can rely on them to sort out the power box if the electrical appliances dont work.

29. Wearing your bra at the beach is one of the best things ever. It feels like you are breaking all the rules when in reality its pretty much the same. Take that society!

30. I think FaceBook is making everyone kind of hate each other. Lets get off it and go have a picnic? (I realise I will now post the link to this on FaceBook. Shut up.)


3 comments:

  1. 26. Throwing a shakka out on Australia Day or to a group of boys will never ever get old? I know Iv never been too cool or upto speed on the "LINGO" but what he hell is throwing a shakka?

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  2. A shakka is a hand signal involving bending your three middle fingers inward with your thumb and pinky out and moving your hand from side to side. its not really about being cool, more like taking the piss.

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  3. of course... my bad, cheers big ears

    ReplyDelete