Monday, January 9, 2012
OLDER & WISER PART #8: OVERSEAS EDITION.
1. Could graffiti be the new babe thing to do and take over skateboarding? I think this may be the case in London.
2. Apparently boys like making out with girls who have just eaten or are in the process of eating chupa chups or Strepsils. You learn something new every day.
3. Men also like it when a family sized Supreme pizza has hit you square in the face for two reasons: (i) It is hilarious (ii) its the ultimate scent to pick up dudes.
4. Continuation from NO #3: time to start rubbing cheeseburgers on your neck and wrists ladies, its the scent of 2012 and will blow J-Lo's Glow out of the water.
5. I have missed the WEIRDEST people while being in London. Like chicken wing lady that roams around Terrigal sometimes- fuck she makes my day and i miss her little pink singlet.
6. If you want something badly, its likely you wont get it so if you relax about it, things may be better for you in the long run rather than having it RIGHT NOW!
7. Passion is pivotal.
8. Londoners and Euro's LOVE mayonaise and I dont understand why.
9. Skype fucking sucks. You have to look at yourself talking while you are having a conversation over a shaky internet connection. It also doesnt help when the person you are talking to is taking photos of your frozen face on their Iphone and showing it to you while laughing boisterously.
10. The first thing I am going to do when I get home is go for a long drive around the coast and listen to all the songs I havent been able to listen to due to everyone thinking i am a weirdo for even having them on my iTunes. Example: Notorious BIG, A Perfect Circle, Usher.
11. Boys are fucking gross. I woke up in Berlin with Rick's undies from the previous night on my toothbrush. Most chicks would be stoked with this I realise, but the last thing I wanted to brush my gums with was scrotum.
12. DO NOT TAKE YOUR AUSTRALIAN SIM CARD TO LONDON.
13. I talk about Splendour A LOT. Maybe too much, but it is pretty much the best time of the year so fuck it.
14. If a man is inclined to go to Splendour of a year, then he is a catch.
15. "So now I've told you, now you know."
16. Everyone should be as masculine as Mumford and Sons, except women.
17. Everyone should know Paul Blackley as he is an amazing human being.
18. I was put in my place the other day when I asked a certain male what it was that he liked about women to which he replied, "They're good with their pussies and that." fucking hell.
19. S0me dudes can pull of a moustache and some really can not. Boys, figure out which one you are and run with it.
20. 2011 was the year of the moustache, 2o12 will be the year of the Amish chin strap.
21. It is so hard to not be scared to say how you really feel for fear of rejection or retribution. Sometimes I think it is just better to say it and hope for the best rather than let it consume you from the inside out.
22. I cant wait to have a Pasito.
23. Don't set off fireworks after having 150 shots of beer in 150 minutes or you will end up looking like Jimmy from South Park.
25. Scrambled Eggs are delicious!
26. Being hit on by an English boy is so much funnier. Example: "You alright gorgeous? you got a boyfren? lemme take you out for a drink, yeah?"
27. I realised while being over here that I can be shy, shocker I know.
28. If you are a girl you will be targeted by petty pranksters who throw fireworks or pizzas at you to make you scream (because they can't make you scream in any other way- pity.)
29. Don't jump fences in foreign countries otherwise you will come out the otherside looking like Jesus Christ. TRUE STORY.
30. Tell someone that they are beautiful or handsome if you think it is true. It wont make you look like an idiot, promise.