Wednesday, March 30, 2011


1. beautiful girls are destructive.

2. Anger is like rocketfuel. It can give you the energy and power to finish your day or it can make you spontaneously combust. Either way, you end up empty or fucked.

3. Resentment stems from anger and is just as, if not more, dangerous.

4. Trucks are the loud drunk bitch of the road. They are huge and loud and scary. I hate them and always will.

5. Sometimes no matter what you do, you just cant seem to have a good day. You should accept this fact and go to sleep knowing that tomorrow is another day.

6. Skins USA is fucked. I havent seen it, but from the difference in culture from the UK to the USA, I would imagine it would be dump.

7. When you are not heard, acknowledged or if you are victimised- it is your own fault.

8. Being brave is so much harder than being a chicken. Thats why there are so many different burgers at KFC now.

9. I think everyone would hate having to explain their jokes to others. It is highly confusing and makes the joke sound like a dental notice to get your routine check up. If you dont get it, ask someone else who didnt make the joke. And if they didnt get it, check your passport.

10. The fact that shows like My Kitchen Rules is on around the same time as The Biggest Loser is very confusing for the fucked up people who watch the box. So you want me to watch some food porn but then flick over in the ad to see portly people crying about their spare tires? I dont get it....maybe its a joke that TV execs are playing on us?

11. The only reason I go to the movies is to have a raspberry icee.

12. People who call icee's, "squishees" watch too much TV.

13. I watch too much TV.

14. One day everyone should live a part of their lives in Queensland.

15. Sometimes it is best not to care about other people and look out for yourself. Because you are the only person who wants to listen to your bullshit and you are the only one who can sort out your bullshit.

16. The line between being a good person and a doormat is very very thin.

17. Ex boyfriends are like undies from a one night stand- you should never see and never think of them again. Because doing so, feels exactly like those undies- shame, regret and rarely satisfying (or clean).

18. The worst feeling is that of 'sour'. If something sours your day or evening. Dont be that guy.

19. Sometimes it is easier to not have to deal with people. But if you dont, then you will never know who you are.

20. When you are sick of the songs on your Ipod, that is a real tragedy.

21. Everyone has a friend who can quote every movie or TV show ever. Im looking at you Kate Gordon.

22. Nothing will cure missing people.

23. Rest in Peace Grumpies 2010- March 2011. We had some good times together you and i. You supported me as I sang to you many hits, you nourished my senses and quenched my thirst with your tomato sauce bottle turned wet pussy shot squirter (fuck that sounds wrong), you rarely checked my ID and you allowed me to line up for hours and talk to many people due to your two bathrooms. You will be forever missed.

24. Proactiv Ads can go down on themselves in the shower and break their necks. FUCK YOURSELF PROACTIV, BUT CLICK THIS SENTENCE.PLEASE.

25. Coppers are cunts.

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