OLDER & WISER PART 2

1. beautiful girls are destructive.

2. Anger is like rocketfuel. It can give you the energy and power to finish your day or it can make you spontaneously combust. Either way, you end up empty or fucked.

3. Resentment stems from anger and is just as, if not more, dangerous.

4. Trucks are the loud drunk bitch of the road. They are huge and loud and scary. I hate them and always will.

5. Sometimes no matter what you do, you just cant seem to have a good day. You should accept this fact and go to sleep knowing that tomorrow is another day.

6. Skins USA is fucked. I havent seen it, but from the difference in culture from the UK to the USA, I would imagine it would be dump.

7. When you are not heard, acknowledged or if you are victimised- it is your own fault.

8. Being brave is so much harder than being a chicken. Thats why there are so many different burgers at KFC now.

9. I think everyone would hate having to explain their jokes to others. It is highly confusing and makes the joke sound like a dental notice to get your routine check up. If you dont get it, ask someone else who didnt make the joke. And if they didnt get it, check your passport.

10. The fact that shows like My Kitchen Rules is on around the same time as The Biggest Loser is very confusing for the fucked up people who watch the box. So you want me to watch some food porn but then flick over in the ad to see portly people crying about their spare tires? I dont get it....maybe its a joke that TV execs are playing on us?

11. The only reason I go to the movies is to have a raspberry icee.

12. People who call icee's, "squishees" watch too much TV.

13. I watch too much TV.

14. One day everyone should live a part of their lives in Queensland.

15. Sometimes it is best not to care about other people and look out for yourself. Because you are the only person who wants to listen to your bullshit and you are the only one who can sort out your bullshit.

16. The line between being a good person and a doormat is very very thin.

17. Ex boyfriends are like undies from a one night stand- you should never see and never think of them again. Because doing so, feels exactly like those undies- shame, regret and rarely satisfying (or clean).

18. The worst feeling is that of 'sour'. If something sours your day or evening. Dont be that guy.

19. Sometimes it is easier to not have to deal with people. But if you dont, then you will never know who you are.

20. When you are sick of the songs on your Ipod, that is a real tragedy.

21. Everyone has a friend who can quote every movie or TV show ever. Im looking at you Kate Gordon.

22. Nothing will cure missing people.

23. Rest in Peace Grumpies 2010- March 2011. We had some good times together you and i. You supported me as I sang to you many hits, you nourished my senses and quenched my thirst with your tomato sauce bottle turned wet pussy shot squirter (fuck that sounds wrong), you rarely checked my ID and you allowed me to line up for hours and talk to many people due to your two bathrooms. You will be forever missed.

24. Proactiv Ads can go down on themselves in the shower and break their necks. FUCK YOURSELF PROACTIV, BUT CLICK THIS SENTENCE.PLEASE.

25. Coppers are cunts.

PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY.

So I just went for a long walk around the terrigal countryside and while on this stroll, Gravity's Rainbow by the Klaxons came on my iphone and i immediately thought of one person:

JOSH WHITE.

So i then decided as soon as I get home I will write about the roommate who used to call me Madame Fontelroy while I was outside in our hip as fuck backyard in Redfern sunning myself.

The one who can talk about tits and ass and "burger" without any qualms.

The one who told me I could be the waitress in his gentleman's club.

The one who would always join me for a cigarette out on the balcony in the dan single chair even when he was quitting that week.

The one who has an impressive mane of hair now.

The one who I could always rely on to finish the final few lines of a rap song I was singing in the hallway.

The only one I called while at Ice Cube.

Who no matter how hard he was working at being the best he could be, would always come around and say yo girly how are you?

The one who has about 100 paisley collared shirts that I am secretly jealous of and has now made me strategically plan (ala entrapment) to steal them one by one.

The one who made funny signs for my 21st birthday party and always laughed at me when I kicked on.

The one who always congratulated me on being able to sit in the same room with five boys playing Skate.

Thanks for being such a lord joshie, I miss you.

OLDER & WISER PART 1.

1. www.browncardigan.com is one of the most fucked up and yet funny as shit websites i have seen in a long time.

2. Sometimes no matter how hard you try to convince others that they are wrong, you will never succeed. Because quite a few people choose to live in their own little worlds and feel shit scared to step outside of their bubble for even a moment.

3. I am not half of a person. I am not part of someone else, I never will be.

4. Huge ornate engagement rings are fucking tacky.

5. Spam is annoying.

6. When you support others, the support you gave will eventually come back to you- but maybe not from the source.

7. I cant take hearing about Illuminati or 2012 anymore. I swear to god or to the mayans (you know- whoever is cool to believe in THIS WEEK) that I will probably go on a world rampage out of frustration from ignorance and the sheer gullibility of some of the people who surround me. IF WE KNOW ABOUT IT, IT IS NOT LEGITIMATE. WE THINK WE KNOW MORE THAN WE ACTUALLY DO. WE DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT, JUST LIVE FOR TODAY!

8. Nothing that is good for you ever comes easy. And why would you want it to? Hard work makes the weekend that much sweeter.

9. Fame has become a blurred line where talent, humour and artistry has taken a backseat to the people who have become famous (or infamous) for nothing. Kardashians Im talking about you. And your friends. What was once reserved for the creative elite has now become something of a public pool with a dirty condom floating in it.

10. RIP Elizabeth Taylor. In referring to item 9, you were one of the last to circulate in that creative elite. And it disturbed me yesterday when a bunch of wide mouthed, closed eyed fuckwits got you mixed up for Liza Minelli in a shrill and extremely annoying tone in class at University. I mean COME...ON....you have to be at least 18...meaning you were born in 1992- and you are studying communications- which includes media analysing- what the fuck?! WATCH SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE BIGGEST FUCKING LOSER FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! (or Cabaret as it seemed to be)

11. When you continually talk about how many homosexual men are going to hit on you at an event such as Mardi Gras- it shows girls just how full of yourself you actually are. What you have hidden and disguised as humility and grace for years comes out in a slur of self importance and delusion. But yeah, you are so going to get harassed tonight babe.

12. Splendour in the Grass is actually the New years of mine and my friends year. Our year begins on the 29th of July this year.

13. If you are single, you should fuck around just to get a feel of who you are by way of interacting with people you dont know. And I dont just mean fuck around sexually (although I do recommend it - with protection), but fuck around with people you dont know. See how they react to you and if they dont like you- then FUCK THEM! To Be Continued....

14. Speaking of fucking "them"- never compromise who you are or what you believe in due to someone else's opinion. The comment thats spends 3.5 seconds on their lips and minds- but may stay on yours for weeks isnt worth the rancid spit they used to propel the insult forward.

15. Buy a T shirt from your band's concert and be proud of it.

16. Caffeine after 4pm is fucked.

17. You have to be really drunk/ off your nut to go to the beery nowadays. I dont know what has changed or why- but I went there the other week just a little bit off drunk and ended up leaving wondering why I always have Fatman Scoop in my head for the rest of the night after coming to terms with being ignored by people who are on your Facebook and will look at you directly in the eye, but will not raise their arm in a "hello" motion if their life depended on it.

18. People are not "shy", they are "deadshits".

19. Cooking is a form of therapy, and so is walking. (and it seems you need both to fit into that body con GUUURRRRLLLL)

20. People do not leave you, they just move on with themselves.

DILF FRIDAYS.

ANTONIO BANDERAS.

THIS IS KAREN.

anorexia, ocean views and love lost- the recipe of another great Australian drama.

THIS IS KAREN

CLICK.

also found here:

STOCKY

I have to admit I did spit out a bit of my vita weet while watching this...in class...at uni...to the teacher's horror and amusement.

from Alex Mattila and Thomas Stockwell.

Pretty much the Maverick and Iceman of Coastal film.

MAYBE NOT TODAY, MAYBE NOT TOMORROW BUT SOON AND FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I am enrolled in a first year subject in my last semester of university, and have to say that while it is annoying with all the group activities and introduction seminars, there is one plus.

I get to watch extremely dramatic and romantic movies splashed with film noir and forbidden love.

I get to pretend that im not deep in the western suburbs and escape with violins and black and white film for an hour or so which leaves me breathless (but that could actually be from the immediate cigarette i have after the screening- who knows)

It got me thinking about romance and how things have changed since these kind of movies came out.

While the majority of comments are sexist and some racist, you could look past these to see the beauty and the ignorance of the time.

and with this ignorance, subtlety and intrigue were born.

Something I believe is lacking in our generation of wanting to know all and discuss all there possibly is.

Tits and ass are a staple of most films nowadays, and im not complaining (it sure exhibits how far we have come?) but we do lack that olden day motif of lust that is implied rather than written with big fat permenant texta on a set of fake DD's stuck on some peroxide piece with not much to say.

Has the sexism of yesteryear that was so obvious been dulled down into what we see in films today?

It could be a legitimate argument.

I dont necessarily see body cons and tits that pretty much need foundation over the nipple as very revolutionary for obliterating the oppression of women.

I dont find the videos of certain 'artists' with women hanging off them that are shown with having about as much worth as a bottle of passion pop.

Maybe the sexist remarks such as "sweetheart" and "shut your mouth darling" that can be found in the films of the 40s, are just now masked in the lurid imagery of the modern day woman in film right now.

As I have said before, rom coms shit me up the wall.

Especially when it is always the career driven woman who finally realises her career dont mean shit unless there is a hunk in her life, (refer to 'IF THIS IS A ROM COM, KILL THE DIRECTOR) can be seen as that form of sexism that is found in the wives of old cinema.

Besides that point, it just made me nostalgic for a moment in time that I wasnt even on this earth for, which made me wonder how I could relate to it so strongly.

And I honestly dont know. Maybe it is because we have all been raised on a breakfast of hope, romance and lust- which in the modern day, our kids could be raised on a 'brunch' of ho's, bitchez and sluzzas.

If they are, I hope they can pop down to BlockBuster (or by then who knows it could be renamed CockBuster as sex does seem to sell- but I have to admit I would shop at CockBuster) and pick up Casablanca or Double Idemnity and realise just how much times have changed.

DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER, I HEARD YOU SAY.

As a generally angry person (but sort of in a julia stiles in ten things i hate about you fashion), I was shocked to find that recently there have been alot of blows to the system, causing rage and resentment across the board.

So much so, that yesterday afternoon I yelled at a woman on the train who made me move my humungous bag onto my lap as she wanted to sit next to me instead of the man behind me.

I then managed to drop my MX and get the shits at the speed of light to which I grabbed my stuff and said "im sorry i can not do this" and moved across the seats to a lone middle seat....you know what...fuck it, that has nothing to do with why I was so pissed off yesterday.

So as to not put anyone in the lurch here I will be ambiguous at the beginning, but then get to the point so bear with me.

I was doing a creative thing for a thing you look at, and I went in there, guns blazing excited about the prospect of being a feature for a day.

To which I immediately felt uncomfortable, and not because they were stripping me of everything that represents who I am, but the way they went about it as well.

Accusing me of not adhering to their "standards".

Calling me "eccentric" and labelling my style as "dramatic"

Not only did this hurt my feelings but it shattered something within me, that I think will take a while to piece back together again.

My sense of self.

Now I know, you are thinking..."she must have no sense of self to begin with, being that it shattered to easily."

But it has been a long long time coming, with a constant stream of comments noticing things about me, which I do not welcome and try to ignore.

But yesterday just was the straw that broke the camel with short hair and winged eyeballs back.

I know you should be proud of who you are and the way you present yourself to society. It is a basic issue that should be a choice you make, not one that is constantly thrown into the limelight and snickered at.

I dont mind being asked innocent questions such as "why do you do yourself up like that?"

whatever.

But when I am made to look like every fucking cookie cutter girl out there for the sake of a "reputation" is when it makes me sick to my stomach.

What has become so wrong about being who you are?

Whether it be a huge goth wandering around Camdentown or a bookworm rattling about your university campus.

Each to their fucking own.

I am tired of the things that are different not being celebrated.

It is a sense of ignorance and compliance that is actually welcomed in society, bashing the ones who dont look like you do- out of insecurity.

It is a grim reality that the ones who try to spice up the world (not referring to myself, but rather to the greater public who adhere to this notion) will not be accepted and loved for who they are and what they represent.

I dont give a flying fuck if you are a mormon in a collared shirt and a black tie knocking on my door at 8am Sunday morning, just as long as you keep my name out yo mouth we can keep it the same.

It is a reality that even though I know it is true, I am so reluctant to accept that it is alive and well everywhere I go.

Especially in Terrigal. The parade of abuse that comes not only my way, but to others I know about how they are dressed and the way they behave is astounding and can hurt.

Words actually do hurt and can change a person's outlook on many things, even if they seem that it has been shook off.

In the past few weeks I have learnt that the things I say are sometimes mean spirited and demeaning to people who are just trying to live their lives the best way they know how and perhaps I should shut the fuck up just as much as the boy in the beery on the weekend who called me a slut. or a man. or a freak.

Besides, we are all misfits....just depends on how you judge it.