Sunday, September 11, 2011
THINGS AREN'T ALL SUGAR & SPICE.
HERE ARE SOME LEGITIMATE (!) REASONS FOR SOMETIMES HATING BEING THE FAIRER SEX:
* Not being able to pee in public without looking like you are participating in some dirty Oz Aerobics class.
* Getting hooted and hollered at.
* The request: "Show us ya tits".
* Being the "other woman"
* Knowing when you are being used for an ego boost. (If you have walked away from this, kudos- you are a strong woman.)
* If you have short hair you can be misconstrued for being a Lesbian.
* If you then defend yourself, you may also be misconstrued as a Lesbian or even worse, a feminist (god forbid).
* Always being the majority when it comes to the prey of serial killers or rapists.
* Having to rely somewhat on males for protection from other males.
* Knowing your chances of being taken while standing on the side of the road at 3am are dramatic.
* Its so much easier to be seen as a "try hard" as some men find that common ground between a male and a female equals her trying to fit into his ideal. Sorry lads, not everything I do, not every fucking food item on my supermarket list, not the way I pour petrol into my car, not the accidental eye contact across a bar, nor the short skirt I am wearing mean I want you or want your sweaty scrotum anywhere near my chin.
* If you have a general anger at some types of humans that just seem to have a penis, you are then ironically stereotyped as a "man hater" for stereotyping all of mankind. interesting.
* For some reason, and it still goes on with vicious ferocity- women hating other women or speaking badly of one another, due to the constant and furious undercurrent that we are brought up with. We must compare ourselves to one another (or Barbie when you are old enough to understand she is an ideal) and compete against one another like we are in some Tits and Punani Olympics, and let me tell you that we aren't! Just because some men dump you like their morning bowel movement sometimes doesn't mean that the next girl they go for is any better or lesser than you. (and he will get to show them his "super awesome" sex moves that usually finish with an Oscar nominated performance to rival Geoffrey Rush in Shine from the chick, and the guy sitting there staring at his ceiling mirror thinking to himself, "Did it again, Champ- I mean I'd fuck me if i was a chick.")
* The notion that we all know how to cook and clean when we come out of the womb. And if we don't, well we should be ashamed (but also have a high powered career).
* The word "fat" and what it can do to someones insides, let alone their outsides. Watch your mouths when it comes to that, our society upgrades our Happy Meals but then tells us we should be watching our weight like a hawk. Eating Disorders are not anything to aspire to. They are a disease of the mind in which the person involved cannot be blamed for.
* When boys laugh at a girl who trips when she is in heels (happened to me last night). I am sorry but if all other types of industry collapsed and all that was left was the Circus, I am pretty sure I would have a lifelong career as a stilt walker, and you would be the gigolo for the bearded lady.
* Judgement. For everything. From everyone- just for being yourself. (This goes for both sexes)
* STILL being spoken down to.
* Having to bring a man to a mechanic.
* Those sick bastards on ChatRoulette.com who get their cock out or ask you to show them your cans. Sorry mate, Cybersex is so 1997. There is just something beyond creepy about a guy with socks, glasses and a shirt on but no pants with his tiny dick out in front of his PC. Why a PC? Because Justin Long would never get his dick out and he is the MAC guy.
* Deadshit chicks, who are blatantly deadshit because they don't want to look like they have a "mouth" on them- except when it counts, if you know what I mean.
* Some cunt on Geordie Shore kept calling this chick a "banker" which meant he could access the "bank" whenever he wanted and the "bank" would be there for him to fuck. Don't treat women like objects, it makes you look like you have Mummy issues.
* Womens sports being seen as less than male sports.
* Having to touch up make up on a night out.
* Having to lend other women my make up when touching up on a night out.
* Hearing the complaints of other women about their weight, hair, boyfriend, style, life, job, beliefs, skin, face and pretty much everything else as for some reason (which I would really like to understand) some of us just can't seem to grasp a sense of belief in ourselves, or be satisfied with what we have. Nothing ever seems to be good enough.
* Knowing I will be judged as a complete whinger for this blog post.